Effective communication promotes a better understanding of people, reduces conflict, and enhances relationships. Listening is key in the communication process, for if we don’t know how to listen, there is no communication!
Communication to many is all about talking. We are busy interrupting and judging what the other person is saying. Effective communication requires both listening and talking and the statistics show that we should talk about 20% of the time and listen 80%. There is, actually the 80/20 rule that, according to Wikipedia, states:

“The principle was suggested by management thinker Joseph M. Juran. It was named after the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto, who observed that 80% of income in Italy was received by 20% of the Italian population. The assumption is that most of the results in any situation are determined by a small number of causes.”

This is the same with communication!


“The most basic and powerful way to connect with another person is to listen, just listen. Perhaps, the only thing we ever give each is our attention!.~ Rachel Remen

So, what are some effective listening techniques?

    • Pay Attention
    • Put other person at ease
    • Take away distractions
    • Be empathetic & patient
    • Listen to their tone
    • Observe nonverbal communication
    • Paraphrase (seek clarification before responding in a reactive manner

    Give brief responses, such as “mm-hmmm,” “I see,” “Oh?” “Right,” “And?” “Go on,” “Tell me more.” etc.

Most people want to succeed I’ve been in business for thirty years and have noticed two different attitudes of professionals: Leaders and Followers.
The Leader’s attitude:

“If I look inside myself and determine from the beginning what I’m going to do, having learned who I am as a person and have learned to love myself, I can, then, teach this to others.  If I read and learn from books, seminars, other people and share with others what I know, I can be a leader and encourage others to be the same.

The Followers Attitude:

“If I just do what this ‘special person’ tells me what do and go according to their lead. I will get where I want to be. I will be in a group of people who are following this one person. I will have many friends and “fit in” a place where I can feel comfortable. I will be liked and admired for working with this ‘special person.’
Do you want to be a leader (the visionary) or the follower?  Most people come out of a consumer/corporate mindset thinking that the way they were taught from their employer is the way to go.


You have been taught to be a follower!

I found this great video to enhance what I want to learn on my way to success.


“It is not about what you do; it is more about WHO is doing it.” Approach your business from where you are, without looking back to your past. Know who you are. We are all capable of being in the top percent if we understand HOW to be leaders. –John Lavenia


I was told I was uneducable and the thought of having my own business would have been unattainable, had I listened to the naysayers. But, I believed in myself and in my abilities. I knew at the age of twenty, “I would be a leader!”


People want to work with people someone who has a goal and knows where they are going. People want to work with somebody with a destination! However, the person they learn from will either make them a LEADER or a FOLLOWER! It is up to you which direction YOU want to take!


If you want to be a LEADER, I am happy to work with you, but you MUST be ready. You MUST believe in yourself and in your abilities. You MUST know you don’t need to follow anyone to become a great leader and success in life.

Authentically Yours,

Dr. Joyce

IT’S 2015 and what better time is there to soul-search than in a New Year?  Is your life going in the direction you would like? What are some plans you would like to see happen during this New Year? It is a fact that only 8% of people who make New Year’s Resolutions actually keep them. Why do you think that is? I’m venturing a guess as to why!


It is a fact, also, that only 2-5% of people have a healthy self-esteem. Unless one has a good self-esteem, it becomes nearly impossible to fulfill anything, let alone a resolution for an entire year.


So, I’d like to start changing this lack of self-esteem in the New Year, so the percentages can go up in the year 2015. How does this happen? Well, first and foremost, one has to want to improve their self-esteem. This is not easy, because it requires a lot of soul-searching and a realization that self-esteem is not where it needs to be and a willingness to learn the steps in which to change this scenario.


I’ve done studies about self-esteem with people of power and position. They were given self-esteem assessments to “sit in the shoes of participants.” Not one of the people asked me for the result! These people could not accept anything a scientific test would introduce. They had achieved in spite of how they “truly felt about themselves” and did not want to read anything that would disturb this perception. Thus, if successful people cannot admit that they are a person with a low self-esteem,  how can  we expect the general population to be able to learn about the inner workings of their mind and how they feel deep inside?


Many young adults feel they are not good enough or that they cannot do anything big in their life. They may have thought this their entire life. However, may children/young adults “mask” this to the outside world for “wanting to fit in” with the status quo.


Since it has been  established that people of all position have low self-esteem, now the challenge is how to change that.

Are you willing to ‘drop the act’ and learn something about yourself? If the answer is no, you will continue to ‘fool’ many people, since they, too, have low self-esteem,  however many others will see you as Fake, when all you are trying to do is survive in a world that has all sorts of expectations put upon you….to look a certain way…to act a certain way….to get to an certain l level….to make a certain amount of money and the list goes on.


Expectations  are TOXIC!


The ONLY Expectation you need to have are the ones you put on yourself… A dilemma; You need to put expectations on yourself, but you can’t because you have this low self-esteem and think you can’t do anything in life.


This has GOT to stop. We live in a world where people are angry and upset. Too many people allow themselves to be brainwashed or talked into something, because they feel good about ‘being in a group,’ any group….even a very dangerous group. I believe if there was a campaign to help people around the world gain self-confidence, priorities could change. Of course, there are always a few evil people, but most people are good. They just want to fit in somewhere and feel loved, respected and live with some dignity.


People need and want to feel passion when they wake up in the morning. They want to create a good life for themselves…..if they have enough self-worth.  Few want to stay in bed all day with nothing to do except play on their devices. Most, if not all, successful people can’t find enough time in the day to do all that they want to do. This is because they have self-worth. They believe in themselves and in what they want to accomplish. Education has nothing to do with this desire to achieve. Passion does. Passion gives people the push to be determined, have tenacity and work toward goals and they have goals upon more goals until the day they die.



  1. Accept yourself. Become aware of who you are and how you feel about you. Are your thoughts negative? Change negative thoughts into positive ones now!
  2. Develop values. Do not allow others to convince you about what you should or should not do. These are their opinions. The most effective way to hurt self-esteem is to take away from yourself who they really are. Once you determine your own values and dismiss the values of others who oppose how you feel, you most likely will feel a sense of relief.
  3. Take a chance. Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen if I do this?” The result of your fear is not that difficult, and you will never know unless you try. Fear is your enemy.
  4. Use setbacks as a springboard for victory. Learn from others in life when they looked at a setback as an opportunity to learn and grow into victories. Study them.
  5. 5. Join positive groups. Joining groups is a wonderful way to network, however, be sure the group is promoting positive relationships and good self-esteem for the members. What happens if you find yourself in a negative group situation is that you begin to contribute negatively, and nobody wins. Negative breeds negative. Join positive groups and network with positive people. It is always important when you are part of an association for you to promote growth in yourself and contribute to that organization or group. Many negative people will join an association and wait to see if that association is going to “do something for them.” Instead, ask yourself, “What can I do to help the group or association?
  6. Demand respect from others and seek fulfilling relationships. My favorite lines include, “I’m sorry you feel that way” “What an interesting perspective!


Negative and critical people want to bring you down to their level. Do not allow this. These types of friends, co-workers and, yes, even family members should be avoided whenever possible. A real friend, co-worker or family member will love and respect you for who you are and for what you think.


  1. Avoid being judgmental. If you would like others to respect your attitudes and beliefs, then you must do the same for them. It is okay to “agree to disagree” with others.
  2. Develop strengths. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It is important to be realistic in your assessment of these two variables. Think about your strengths and write them down. For example, I know I am not good in math, but I am a good communicator. Write a column sheet and look at these on paper. You will know when to concentrate once you see these written down.
  3. Set goals. As mentioned above, writing out lists is important. Once words are written down, they become more real. You can look at your list daily and see what your strengths are and what your goals are and you can then measure how you are moving along at any given point.
  4. Visualize. See yourself achieving the goals you have written down. It is a very self-actualizing feeling.


These principles help you realize success in your life. As we build successes, we feel successful and our self-esteem increases.


Now you add items to the list that would help increase your self-esteem.


Once you do this, you will be able to see just how valuable you have been in the past and how valuable you can be in your future. You just have to write your accomplishments down every time you have them.

It does not matter what you accomplished. YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED and everything you accomplished will contribute to your self-esteem level.


Remember, you have a set number of days. You make your decisions, select your values and choose what to do with the opportunities presented. The challenge is to live to the best of your ability. Ask yourself daily, “Is what I’m doing now taking me toward my goal?”

What can you control? You control only you, not others. What do you need to get control of?



~  Joyce Knudsen, PhD., AICI CIM

“Hello. I’m ________________________________________________. It’s really nice to meet you.”
Stand in front of a mirror as you practice, practice, practice introducing yourself to others. Pronounce your name clearly and distinctly. This helps the other person hear your name. If they repeat your name incorrectly, pleasantly correct the error by speaking more slowly.
“In nothing do we lay ourselves so open as in our manner of meeting and salutation” – Lavater
In the event you are introducing yourself to someone you have met previously you might say, “Hello, I’m___________________________________________. We met last month at the luncheon.” If you do not remember their name say,”Would you mind telling me your name again?” Knowing how to introduce will give you power and authority. People are flattered that you remember them and that knowing their name is important to you.
The most important person is always introduced first:
“Mr. Smith, this is Miss Jones, our new Manager, Mr. Rogers.
Men are introduced to women. “Michelle Day, this is Tom Gilligan,” except when higher ranking persons are involved. Then you proceed as follows:
“Mr. President, may I introduce Miss Jane Thompson.” “Madam Ambassador, may I introduce Mr. Smith.”
In a group, introduce the newcomer first. “This is Mr. Green.” then introduce the members of the group in order of position around the room. ALWAYS LOOK AT THE PERSON YOU ARE INTRODUCING. BE CONFIDENT AND IN CONTROL.
“Hello Mary, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Hello Mary, I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. I’ve heard many good things about you.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mary. Joe has told me many wonderful things about you.
Handshakes are a nonverbal form of communication serving as the universal signal for peace and the first physical impression you will make
1. Extend your hand with your thumb up and out, avoid thumb down or curled fingers.
2. Hold the other persons’ hand firmly.
3. Shake from the elbow, not the shoulder or wrist.
4. Use good eye contact. Let them see “I’m happy to meet you” in your eyes.
Shaking hands is appropriate for both genders when meeting and parting. Always stand for handshakes and introductions, but be aware that some elderly people have been taught to remain seated while being introduced. A business-person today should not remain seated when others are standing and shaking hands. Remain standing until all introductions around you have been made.
Identify yourself when you call. “Hello. This is Jim Greene. May I please speak with Joe?”
When the person you want to speak with answers the phone, “Hello Joe, this is Jim. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
If you dial the wrong number, apologize and ask if you have dialed incorrectly. try looking a mirror while talking on the phone. It will show you how you sound to the other person. It will also add enthusiasm to your voice.
Be prompt in answering the telephone. Use a pleasant voice. It is the caller’s first impression of you. If the call is for someone other than you, say, “May I ask who is calling please?” Keep a pen and paper near the telephone to record messages. If the person whom the call is for is available, say,”Just a moment please, I’ll see if Joe is available.” Put the caller on hold if your telephone has that feature or set the receiver down lightly and go get the person whom the call is for.
If someone calls you and hangs up without leaving a message, even if you see it on your caller ID, do not call them back and ask what they wanted. Everyone is entitled to make a mistake in dialing. If you answer a call and your number was dialed by mistake, nicely inform the caller they have dialed incorrectly. Never give them your number.
It is the responsibility of the person in the office to guide the visitor as to where to sit. Walk to the door to greet the visitor, then with hand extended, palm up indicate where the visitor is to sit. Consider the size of the visitor when selecting the chair in which they are to sit. Junior members of a team should wait to sit until the senior member is comfortably seated.
Name badges are placed on the right shoulder area. The eye will focus on the badge when they are shaking hands.
If your work in your office is without a jacket, always wear one when greeting a visitor and leaving your office to attend a meeting, even on “Casual Friday”.
When sitting, select a chair that suits your size whenever possible. Arrange your clothes before sitting and sit with your feet on the floor and back straight.
Use language people understand. Avoid contractions, abbreviations and slang. Talk about ideas, not people. Try to understand other’s viewpoints. Never interrupt. Avoid arguments: yelling is never productive. Guide the conversation when necessary. Use gestures to show that you are interested.
“May I?”- When you ask permission, you imply the person has authority. “As you of course know…” – You will be affirming that this person has great knowledge.
“I’d like your advice.” – This says that you recognize their superior wisdom and value them. You have lifted them to a higher level of expertise.
“I would appreciate it if…” – You have implied that he or she has the power to grant or refuse your wish.
“You are so right.” – What a pat on the back. Everyone wants to be right. Who won your last argument?
“Can you spare time from your busy life?” – You are recognizing how important this person is and how valuable each minute can be. You are respecting their time.
“I never thought about that. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
“I hear what you’re saying.” This is powerful since most people do not listen!
“I’m sorry you feel that way.” If someone has offered you their “opinion” and you don’t agree, then you are letting them know you heard them, but do not agree.
Written by Dr. Joyce M. Knudsen, AICI CIM

We all want to be recognized and appreciated for our talents, but we don’t always know the best way to market ourselves. Like it or not, we live in an age that is all about marketing and image. You all know how important it is to have your own image. Let’s take a look at a few people and stars that have created icons of themselves through imagery: Madonna, Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Elvis to name a few.

So… how can you build your image? If you are at a total loss, look to other influences for guidance. Study their styles. Is there anything about their styles that you could incorporate in your own look? Be careful not to become a knock-off of someone else, just find elements that you can use. Consider all the elements of physical appearance. From the top down: hair, make-up, wardrobe/figure/phsysique, and accessories.

• Give it some style. It does NOT have to cost a lot. Go to a shop that is less money. This does not mean the stylist isn’t as qualified as the more expensive stylists. It’s the stylist; not the price.
• Experiment with color and highlights
• Men, if you are open to sporting facial hair…style it, trim it, and shape it.


• Men! Give your stage presence a boost with a little make-up. Self-tanners are a great option to a foundation. Don’t skimp on the price, The more expensive tanners offer you a glow and not an orange color. There are also tinted moisturizers that can give your complexion a kick.

• Men: Don’t be afraid of a little eyeliner stage lights can really wash you out, it doesn’t hurt to give nature a hand.

• Ladies, experiment with lipstick and eye color. You will need a more dramatic look to make an impression from the stage.

• Balance is the key to good make-up. It’s best not to focus too much on one feature.

• Lastly, don’t forget to blend… you don’t want to look like a clown, unless that’s how you want to define yourself that way!



• Dress for your body type. If your body doesn’t look like Jo Lo or Brittney Spears,, you probably shouldn’t try to dress like them.
• Make sure that you feel confident in whatever you choose.
• Don’t be afraid of color, use it! Color is the first thing that attracts the eye to the tune of 60%.


“Branding doesn’t stop at personal image and wardrobe. It’s important to carry that style through to your style, photo shoots, and promotional materials. You hear the name NIKE, you think JUST DO IT.. What do you want people to think when they hear YOUR brand name.?

We have all been there. It’s mid-semester and there’s a test, and also the “Finals.) What exactly are we testing? Are we testing someone’s ability to stay up all night and memorize? Are we testing 1/3 of the type of learners who understand audio (learning by hearing) learning? Or, do the schools just want some proof that you have learned the subject matter? If this is the case, the schools have made a terrible mistake.


What is the reason? There are three types of learners, those who hear (audio,) those who see (visual) and those who experience (Kinesthetic.) The other two learning styles are not the people who test well. Testing is, simply, not effective for all learning types.


Isn’t the reason for tests to see a learning outcome? The way we are tested today removes self-esteem from many of the students. They feel like “losers,” when all they did was the best they could. Taking a student’s self-esteem away at an early age can be detrimental to them and affect them the rest of their lives.


If this is so, and I believe it is, the testing in schools has to be changed. Instead of giving a test, and scaring the student half to death, how about trying this.


The teacher gives the student the test. You grade it and give it back to the student. Give them a certain amount of time and then ask them to go over the questions they got wrong and write in the narrative what the answer should be and why. Collect the tests and re-grade them.


You will have a happy student with a learning outcome!

It begins in grade school and does not stop there.


In adulthood, we apply for certifications and, of course, there is a test. Really, is this necessary? I loved working on my Ph.D. because it was all done in the narrative. I even suggest going one step further than writing about each course.  How about this? Have the adult student put so many interviews on audio. Has the adult student listened 70% of the time? Did the adult student hear what their client was saying? How did they handle their session? Now, that’s a test that is completely accurate.


I’m not sure what is wrong with the educational system in schools or the
“powers that be” in adult testing, but I know this. Much of what I’ve learned has been out of school, once I left all the training behind. I learn more when I chose to learn something new; not because I had to. Life is the big lesson, not a classroom!


I’m sure many people feel the same way.


We live in a social media world these days and many people are not using them in the way they were intended.
Facebook started out being a place for friends and family, but people looked at 5000 friends max and sought out to get them, most likely to try and sell them something

I was one of these people until I started doing Research.

Facebook is a place to share and be there for your Facebook Friends. Not to tell your problems, not to sell your product and certainly, not to criticize anyone or anything. The best feature Facebook has are their “Pages.” This is the place for your company header so people know where you work and what you do. It is fine to post informative things on the pages.

Twitter. Also has numbers. PEOPLE LOVE NUMBERS! (Even though they hated Math In High School) OK, yes, I have over 600T, BUT I answered all Interactions, Mentions, answer their questions, prayed with them and did #FF each and every week. I didn’t pay anyone to get them as people don’t care about your business as much as you do. It is better to have 1000 great people than 2000 who don’t participate. It is wasting money to purchase followers as Twitter does a clean sweep and removes them. Spend that money on someone or something you need!

PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO BE SOLD! Only other sellers will like, follow or put you in their circles. Have a book out, go ahead and let people know. Have an event planned Fine. Just wrote a new blog, great! But continuous sticking your company name on your posts may remind people of you when they are looking for your kind of service, but they will not use you.

The people on these sites love when people give and promote them, not you. People will remember that you were not promoting, go to your website and order. Your website should be listed on all social sites, so people can find you. It’s how I get my clients and each and every time, they tell me, “I took your program because you were so giving and not continually promoting your business.

Google + as the second largest search engine, this is where it’s at, so don’t waste time on other sites. Just go to them, put a post or two or check on your pages. G+ is where it’s at. Now, G+ expects people to share information (not giving away the farm, but putting up posts people want to read!) Use quotes, tips, great graphics. Look at all variations. If you are a coach, then look at artwork and put that up; look at tech and put those up. You need to be well-rounded for this site.

Klout Although Klout is about Klout and bringing people to that site, I am sorry I was at 80 and got off. I’m back on because many sources look at your Klout on the Internet. I recommend using it.

Groups There are many groups on the Internet. If you have a product to sell, try putting into tweets and joining Klouters and Klout K. Get It Done is a great site for promotion. The site I decided on building is for marketing other people. You can find this at https://www.facebook.com/groups/DrJoycesMarketingPage/

LinkedIn At this point, I’m not that much into LinkedIn but it is a great place for showing your profile and getting client’s. It’s good to be in their groups, as well.

There are so many social sites to choose from. How do you know which to sign up for and what do you do once you get there? Let’s go through the ones I’m on: Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.


First, on Facebook, it is a wonderful advantage to make use of their pages. Your personal page is fine, but many limit that only to family and friends; what it was intended for. I have three pages: www.facebook.com/doctorjoyce; https://www.facebook.com/DrJoycesBooks;  & http://on.fb.me/1coM4Th I find these pages work great to generate business and book sales.


You become a public figure. To create a business page, try this site: https://www.facebook.com/business/overview If you are asked to provide wither a permalink or a direct link, here is how: Go to post you want and click on the date below the post. This will take you to another URL and that is considered a Direct Link. Permalinks take you to the same place but you click on the highlighted icon at the right of the post. Facebook allows you the opportunity to boost your post, advertise, put up content on your pages and even give gifts to people you love just by clicking a button.


What Not To Do: On Business Pages, no advertising or selling something. People do not like to be sold. Think about what you are posting by imagining an employer or potential business connection seeing what you put on Facebook. People really don’t want to hear complaining, criticizing or blaming. Professionals simply do not do this.


Second is Twitter (my personal favorite) @drjoyce_knudsen Follow me! On twitter, it is not enough to follow people. Twitter has been known to take inactive people off every so often. You must engage with people by clicking on “Connect” and interacting with people who send you a message. You also will receive messages under the new envelope that you must answer, that is….if you want your numbers to go up. My methodology is to follow people who I know will follow me back as they are like-minded. This takes extra work, but since starting Twitter, I now have 600T+ and even if they take inactive people away, I’ll still ahead. What has Twitter done for me? One of my followers turned out to be an International Publisher in the UK. He has made me Internationally Published. I met many people who asked me to interview on their radio shows, acquired a marketing company who is willing to barter for promoting them on Twitter and there is so much information on Twitter, you can “borrow” it (of course, always giving credit) for Google+ (an another blog post! Choose your own but I found http://www.twitip.com/13-twitter-tips-and-tutorials-for-beginners/ to be useful.


What Not to Do: 

You can belong to www.justunfollow.com if you like to track your followers. However, refrain from posting how many unfollowers you have. No one cares. Do not criticize a post. The person who posted is just the messenger. You will be blocked! Do not post sexual content; again, you will be blocked. LinkedIn is wonderful for connections in business. I don’t use it as much as I should, due to time restraints, but it is important to have a profile there so people can read about you. I’ve made many connections on LinkedIn) 4000+ and this is the only one of the three that gives you the entire person’s information for emailing. LinkedIn tutorial, I recommend http://www.linkedin.com/company/clicktecs/linkedin-tutorial-how-to-use-linkedin-for-business-923904/product since this is strictly a business site, I haven’t figured out anything “not to do” YET!

Personally, I would like to have “time in a bottle” so that I could work other sites, but if you choose three and of course, Google+, your business will grow. Mine has. ~Dr. Joyce

We all come from different perspectives and different generations, yet we all find ourselves in a society forced to deal with the differences of others. Each individual has certain personal and lifestyle characteristics that are consistent with each generation. Generations are defined by what they experience together. In order to understand the various generations we need to figure out a way to find similarities and differences and judge people by their competence.

People in all generations have misconceptions about “how they are or should be.” This is a generalization about what any given generation should be and is not fair to the people in that particular generation.

Generational Differences Example

An example of how people think in various generations is illustrated by this story: A thirty-year-old lawyer tells a client that she thought her generation would never get Medicare as the country “will be bankrupt by then. “She is very despondent about the future. The lawyer goes on to say that, even among her own generation, there is a lack of trust in each other to work as a generational group and to lobby for political change.

She goes on about the lack of trust to work together as a group in order to promote positive change, because she says that her generation extends to a lack of individual trust among her own friends and even with her own husband. Her closing comment was “It’s a ‘dog eat dog world out there-each of us is on his own.’ Many of my friends feel we can only trust ourselves.” This commentary is based on the lawyers’ words. How sad is it that, in a world connected with social media, cell phones, and media blasts, this degree of isolation is felt by an educated member of the newer generations?

Many of us have been on the receiving end of generational misunderstandings people experience with each other. The younger generation may not have considered why their parents felt that authority meant something to them. The idealistic baby boomer may not understand why their children use cell phones and texting rather than calling on the telephone.In later generations, this no longer seemed to hold true. Are we intentionally different? Instead of suspending judgment and seeking to understand, why don’t we choose to hear what others have to say first? One generation feels that it works well to be part of a team where everyone has something valuable to say, and that, then, binds us together.

I’ve just been published and this is my second book, The Generation Puzzle. I think it’s important, especially now, to learn about all generations. This will be a series. Dr. Joyce Knudsen, Ph.D.

http://www.businesspresentationsplus.com & www.imageconsultingmaterials.com for materials that are sent to you in word

(I am the ghostwriter and you use the information with your own name and logo. This has NEVER been done before. Take a look!)

If you want further information about generations, take a look at this new book on Amazon –http://tinyurl.com/mmk4dro The Generational Puzzle by Dr. Joyce Knudsen

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Joyce_Knudsen

Most people think they are communicating, when in actuality, they are not getting their message across. Yes, they are sending messages; however, much is lost within the communication process, which comprises more than 90% of the message being sent!

The receiver may be thinking what the right answer would be for your question; they may be thinking about something that just happened that they cannot get of their heads, or their feelings and emotions are being compromised from hearing the communication.

By the time your message is sent and the time your message is received, a lot happens with your message. The person hears the message and decodes it, giving their interpretation to it.

In business and in relationships, we want a message to be heard and effective if we are to proceed with a good communication between two parties. In this book, my hope is that you obtain the necessary knowledge to use language correctly and to know the many variances of the language process.

Everywhere we go, there seems to be signals of some kind. There are signs, logos, labels, photographs, newspapers mobile devices and computer screens. The signs are so common that we get used to them and instinctively know what they mean. These signals have become important to our way of life.

People interpret what they want to interpret. They hear what they choose.

In the book, Words That Work, Frank L. Luntz says,

“It’s not what you say, and it’s what people hear.” He goes on to say “You can have the best message in the world, but the person on the receiving end will always understand it through the prism of his or her own emotions preconceptions, prejudices and preexisting beliefs.”

Communicate Effectively Online

In today’s world of social networking, texting, tweets and Facebook posts, along with electronic forms of communication words can easily be misunderstood and misinterpreted.

People want immediate gratification when they send a message. When people used to write letters, (what a concept!) they had to wait for a response. Today, you reach contacts, worldwide, in seconds. We are in an era with “real time.”) Businesses now send messages via office email quickly and efficiently.

In the book, Multiple Intelligences by Howard Gardner, he said that

“We. now have the opportunity to go beyond stated expectations and explore specific interests. Since sending and receiving messages immediately is so beneficial, we seem to have lost the ability to use more archaic forms of communication. No longer do your children call every week; they text. Everything has moved in a direction of
“I need information right now. It concerns me we are losing the opportunity to communicate in-person or over a landline, in lieu of technological advances.”

The majority of the population is born with an ability to hear, but not necessarily, to listen. There are several reasons people do not or cannot listen or remember. These range from physical conditions to cultural beliefs.

During one of the classes, required to get my Ph.D., an instructor gave his view on the word ‘understand.’ In his words, “The word ‘understand’ is just a clever reversal of ‘stand under’ and has been suggested to mean just that: to stand under.” If you ‘stand under’
someone and look up to them you will better understand what they are going through and why your communication may not be getting across.

Edward R. Murrow said,

“Communication’ is the process of exchanging information and ideas. An active process, it involves encoding, transmitting, and decoding intended messages. There are many means of communicating and many different language systems. Speech and language is only a portion of communication.

Other aspects of communication may enhance or even eclipse the linguistic code. These aspects are para-linguistic, non-linguistic, and linguistic.

It is the transmission of information so that the recipient
Understands what the sender intends.”

Just because we send a message doesn’t mean the receiver hears what you intended them to hear because somewhere in-between the sender and the receiver are the thought processes, feelings and interpretations of the receiver. The receiver must be open to receiving the senders’ message.

For example, when you see a yellow sign with a curved arrow along the road, you know there is a curve ahead. When you see a plus sign, you know you are to add. When you see a red light, you know to stop.

The key to the use of signals in communication knows that both the sender and receiver of the message must understand the communication! Let’s say, you were given a math problem, but you

did not know the minus sign is the signal for subtraction, you
would not be able to complete the problem.

When people used to write letters, (what a concept!) they had to wait until the receiver gets the communication.

Thus, this book about the communication process and all that it entails.

Look out  for The Communication Handbook by Dr Joyce Knudsen on Amazon,  everyone needs this book in order to communicate effectively.